Monday, July 17, 2017

P-day 43: Day 307 - "I know it's the Lord's grace that makes the difference..."

I've noticed that Nathanael has been feeling a little down. I remember going through a hard patch right at the middle of my mission too. I think it's normal but still hard, and even harder to watch your son go through. Love you Nano!!

Hey guys,

I hope you are doing well. It's been kind of a hard week for me but I'm doing ok. We had a multizona on Wednesday that was nice but also really overwhelming for me, and during the week we had a really hard time finding people to teach. The woman that we've been teaching, Mercia, told us this week that she doesn't want to get baptized after we challenged her to pray about the book of mormon. She told us she believed everything we said except for that, and that she believes that her church and our church are both right. That's a common belief here in Brazil. Maybe someday she'll be more prepared to receive the gospel.

This week I'm going to Piracicaba to renew my visa! Actually I'm going tonight and I'll come back tomorrow night. That should be fun. I've been feeling a little discouraged the last couple of days, even though our week wasn't all bad, so maybe it will be good to change things up for a day. We'll see. It just hit me the other day that I really want to baptize people, really really bad, so I can help them, and despite all my efforts to do that I'm just NOT GETTING IT. I think my companion's getting discouraged too, and I think he's frustrated with life and a little bit with me too, and I feel kinda crappy for those reasons. Sorry to use the word crappy but that's accurate. I'm trying not to get discouraged but you know. Anyway I'm feeling a little homesick too which is normal and not a big deal, I've been thinking a lot about video games and other non mission related stuff and I've basically found myself wanting to be in other places. All this is probably normal, I guess. I can't decide if the Lord is trying to teach me something, or if I really just suck as a missionary haha, or what. Like on Sunday we only had 2 people at church and I really wanted more, and I also slept in a little bit, and I don't know if more people didn't go to church because I slept in -- do you think if I had woken up on time, we would have had a miracle and they would have gone? I know it's the Lord's grace that makes the difference but it seems like everyone around me baptizes and has success and there are so many things I should be doing that I'm not doing, and so many things I shouldn't be doing that I am doing, and at what point will I be good enough to have the miracles I need to get the baptisms? Do you know what I mean?

I'm a little stressed but don't worry, it really was a good week and I love the members, our investigators that we do have and the other missionaries here. I'm happy and I feel like everything's going to be ok, I just don't really know what my part in that is. Sometimes I want this mission to end quickly so I won

[he accidentally sent the email without finishing it, here is the end]

what I was saying is that sometimes I want this mission to be over soon so I won't have to ask myself that question anymore. Well that's all that's really on my mind I think. In other news president bangerter is letting us listen to non-church music that fits within the guidelines now, so I'm downloading a ton of beethoven. Send good music suggestions!

Love you guys. Hope you have a great week and talk to you soon!

Elder Sederholm

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